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Our friends with a woman, who has faced and conquered many obstacles, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's repeatedly blindsided by people. Her husband left her, which came as a huge shock. Several of close acquaintances disappeared then, because they seemed only interested in the spouse. It shocked her. She put in more effort toward our bond, probably realised more acutely the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

In the time since, quite a few of her friends have disappeared without her being sure why. The company she worked for turned on her, despite the fact that she was an excellent employee, and she left not understanding what had changed.

Present Situation

Recently, we have each left the workforce and are seeing each other more, but I am finding my role in our friendship is as the audience. I introduce discussion points and she changes them to her own topics. Politically, she holds firm beliefs. My effort is to propose double-checking information or other angles.

She is planning a trip to a country I've visited on several occasions and resided in for some time. I attempted to offer advice, yet it was unappreciated. She essentially solely sought validation of her plans. I recently come back from a month in that country she is eager to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I don't want in this role that walks away without explanation, yet I doubt she will ever understand the impact of her actions on how I feel about myself. Currently, I am in avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

You could cut and run, however, that approach is not often the easy answer we hope for. But confrontation with a view to a solution demands strength and willingness on both your parts.

Experts suggest using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially involves describing what typically happens when you talk. It should be as factual as possible and basically exactly what occurs. The second involves sharing how this affects you emotionally. This allows for no disagreement about this. What you feel are your feelings, after all. Finally is to ask how you are both going to change the pattern in your relationship."

Keep in mind she too has a point of view, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. A helpful technique is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to remain silent for half an hour."

This can be successful for promoting better communication.

Final Thoughts

This person may dismiss your concerns, for those who have a deep-seated story: they maintain a narrative regarding their experiences they're unable to abandon because their very survival depends upon it being the only thing familiar to them. It's tough when there seems no clear path here, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might start out defensively before reflecting your perspective. And even if you don't achieve an agreement, it provides closure knowing you were truthful.